Cella’s Chat: You Are Perfect The Way You Are – There is No Normal!

Choices PhotoI was recently asked by someone to attend an NA (Narcotics Anonymous) meeting with them. As a Recovery Coach, I support their recovery and was very glad to attend the meeting.  I do not normally agree to go to meetings with clients, however, this was a family member and my love and support was important to them.  We entered this very crowded room and it shortly became clear to me that I was meant to be there.  The perspective I received on how people with substance abuse issues feel wasn’t far from how I myself have felt many times.  As people began to share their struggles with daily life and staying sober, they used the words “I am not normal” and “I wish I could be like “normal” people.”  It was evidently clear that people who suffer from addiction feel out of place in this world and their thought process is that those without addictions are “normal.” I wanted to stand up and say, “hey, you are normal, you are just struggling.” I might have added, “what’s normal?”  Each one of us struggles with something.  I may not fight with the addiction of substances, but I fight with the addiction of co-dependency.  That was, and sometimes is, still my drug of choice.  Co-dependency lead my whole life by my “training” others (unknowingly) to treat me as the one who was to fix their problems, right the wrongs and pony up money to help them when they could not help themselves.  The problem with that is because I always fixed everything, others never learned to take care of themselves and this created a cycle that only I could stop.  This cycle perpetuated since I was a young girl into my adulthood until I physically, emotionally and mentally broke – my body’s way of saying “enough!”  As a co-dependent (enabler), I finally made the choice to change and seek help.  I learned that I had to forgive and value myself first before other’s could value me. Little by little, I grounded myself and taught other’s how to make the choices they needed to empower and value themselves.  My suggestion to you is to know you are valuable, normal and loveable and it is up to you to change your perspective and make the choices to walk the path which makes you feel empowered. In my case, instead of loving myself, I turned to fixing others as a way to be valued and loved.  For many, they turn to substances because they don’t like themselves (let alone love themselves) and to “feel” emotions of any kind is too painful so it is easier to numb the feelings.  Once we are able to see this truth, our thoughts change, the way we treat ourselves change and our lives change.  It can be no other way.  Each one of us has the ability to heal our lives if we simply allow ourselves to peak under the shield we have created and love ourselves.  Yes, it takes work but aren’t we worth it?  In Louise Hay’s book You Can Heal Your Life, she expresses that “if we are willing to do the mental work, almost anything in our life can be healed.”  Louise explains how limiting beliefs and ideas are often the cause of illness, and how you can change your thinking…and improve the quality of your life! This book was the first book I read that made sense to me and allowed me to start looking at how my thoughts were affecting my life.  Know you are perfect, whole and complete as you are.  So, throw away the idea of “normal” and revel in the fact that you are unique!  I don’t know one person who is truly “normal” – that just might be boring!
Every thought we think is creating our future.   

Louise L. Hay

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